Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Attention Americans: It Is Your Patriotic Duty to Masturbate this Month.

Apparently no one else shares my obsession with Hallmark Hall of Fame's Riding the Bus with My Sister. No one, that is, except TVGasm, who blogged the entire broadcast!!. So although I haven't actually seen this masterpiece, I could at least get a little taste. My deep hatred of Andie MacDowell (which is itself dwarfed only by my hatred of pathological squinter Helen Hunt) was thrilled by the hilarious pictures of her FUPA. Plus I laughed my ass off when I found out what a FUPA was.

On a more serious note, it is imperative that you check out POSTSECRET. Anonymous people send in found and homemade postcards upon which they reveal a huge personal secret. I never thought I could be so moved (read: depressed) by a Web site. It's definitely worth checking out... and you'll end up reading the entire thing.

By the way, welcome to May. While the weather still sucks, this month does give us other reasons to celebrate. Here are a few:

May is National Masturbation Month; Asian/Pacific American Heritage Month; Older Americans Month; Better Sleep Month; Modern Dance Month; National Arthritis Month; National Bike Month; National Hamburger Month; National Barbecue Month; National Salad Month (boo!); National Egg Month; National Salsa Month; National Military Appreciation Month; Mental Health Month; Asthma & Allergy Awareness Month; Better Hearing & Speech Month; Better Sleep Month; Breathe Easy Month; Correct Posture Month; Hepatitis Awareness Month; Huntington's Disease Awareness Month; National Arthritis Month; National Digestive Diseases Awareness Month; Tuberous Sclerosis Awareness Month; National Trauma Awareness Month; National Drinking Water Month; National High Blood Pressure Month; National Melanoma/Skin Cancer Detection & Prevention Month; National Neurofibromatosis Month; National Sight-Saving Month; National Physical Fitness and Sports Month; National Electrical Safety Month; National Historic Preservation Month; International Business Image Improvement Month; National Scholarship Month; National Prom Graduation Safety Month; Creative Beginnings Month; Family Support Month; Family Wellness Month; Freedom Shrine Month; Get Caught Reading Month; Haitian Heritage Month; Heal the Children Month; More Than Just A Pretty Face Month (??); Motorcycle Safety Month; National Good Car Keeping Month; National Shoes for Orphans Month; National Revise Your Work Schedule Month; Pilates Awareness Month; Prepare to Buy A Home Month; Smiles Month; Young Achievers Month; and National Foster Care Month.

PLEASE NOTE that it is National Masturbation Month and National Get Caught Reading Month, but it is NOT National Get Caught Masturbating Month!!

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